A Man's Role

I lay awake at night pondering if I have done all I could on this day for my family. Did I participate in the day-to-day activities of my family’s life or have I been home but not present. Being daddy is one of the great opportunities a man has; it is also one that many of us fail miserably. What is a man's role? I believe a man’s role is one that is difficult to define. Difficult to define, because many young men have not witnessed what it means to be a man or better yet what role one should play.

As far back as we can remember, we were told to get as much as we can get, have as many as we can hold onto. However, is that our role? Is that what a man is? I have come to the realization that a man’s role is a demonstrative role. Children emulate what they see. If that young child is raised, in a home, that daddy is beating mommy and mommy stays around, that child can grow up believing that is to be expected between a mommy and a daddy. We as men must believe that whatever we do is scrutinized by the people that look up to us. Every act we take in front of our baby girl must be looked at as an opportunity to be a model for her the type of man she should be with. Believe it or not, the first man in your little girl’s life is you as her father, from there it either gets better or God forbid worse. If that little girl sees that her mother is treated well, with respect and reverence, that is what she will expect because that is the model she has lived in.

On the other hand, when it comes to being a Man for that young boy in your life, while it probably should not be different in your eyes, it is. We have to resist the temptation of re-living our lives through the young men we are modeling for. We all try to get our boys to do the things we did in athletics, or academics, or whatever we thought we did the best, and I believe we should at least make them try, but our job is not to impose our will and make mini me’s but to give borders and room to grow within those borders. Some might say how is that not imposing your will, they have to do what I say? That may be true in a lot of cases but does it have to be. I believe a man’s role is to provide, protect and to educate the people they love and are responsible for.

What do you mean educate the people you love? What can you teach me? When you are the man God has ordained you to be, every interaction that is witnessed is an opportunity to teach, to educate. For example, you were just cursed out by someone and you did not respond in kind. Whomever bared witness to that was shown how to handle that situation. When you show someone compassion that is a lesson we should all want to teach. When you demonstrate what it is to be a man, the responsibility, the long-suffering, the opportunity to bare the burdens of the family and successfully navigate through them. The opportunity to be looked upon as someone who did everything he could to move his family forward. The opportunities to have your children think of you as a Man who happens to be their father, I do not think you can be a good father if you are not first a man. The opportunity to look into the eyes of your wife and see that she believes you are a man. Allows you to avoid sleepless nights, wondering what your children are doing, hoping you have done everything possible. If you have done everything a man is supposed to do, you are honoring your role.

A man’s role.