A Father's Worry

I have always been my youngest son’s strongest critic, but I am also his biggest fan.  I would never say I love my son more than his mother.  I don’t believe a man can love his child more than the woman that carried him, but I do believe I can be a bigger fan.  Watching my son work on his craft has been a great joy in my life.  Watching him lose interest or not work as hard on his craft worries me.  It‘s hard to look at someone you love waste a talent you know was God given.  My son has worked tirelessly on his game and now it seems he’s tired of the work.  My worry is, did I push too hard or did I not push hard enough.  It’s hard for some dad’s to not relive their lives through their children.  I often wonder if I am doing that with my baby boy. 

 

How do you teach your son to turn off the noise?  You didn’t let him run the streets.  You didn’t let him hang out all night.  You took him to nearly every practice, tryout, game or workout.  You watched him work six or seven days a week, you kept him too busy to worry about what was going on in the streets.  But what do you do when the streets start calling and now your son feels like he’s being left behind or isn’t as street smart as the other kids?  As his father I worry if I prepared him for the different aspects of life.  All I know to do is to try to keep talking with him. 

 

The best thing I can try to impress upon my son is, it’s okay not to be street savvy.  It’s okay not to know what people are talking about.  If they are true friends they won’t care if you don’t know, they will just explain it to you if you tell them you don’t know.  Even though I was raised with uncles, cousins and family friends who were OG’s, Mr. Nephew, Bo, Pete, Baby Bruno, Big Mike to name a few, I wasn’t in tune and was quite clueless to what was going on.  I was sheltered to an extent, even shielded from the life.  That’s not to say I didn’t learn some things and tried some things; I’m just making the point that I was an outsider growing up.  I was the square kid, the lame kid in all of my circles but having said that, I had a talent that people respected me for, I could ball.  The people I grew up with understood I wasn’t the kid that would look for trouble or volunteer to be involved in dumb shit, although I did get into trouble and do dumb shit, they understood that isn’t what I was about.  They knew what basketball meant to me and didn’t want me to be like them, they were my friends and did their best to make sure I didn’t fall prey to the streets, although I didn’t always make the best decisions, my friends didn’t push me to make the wrong decisions. 

 

Times are different now.  Haters pretend to be friends just so they can say they know you, but in secret they are doing everything they can to tear you down. When you are not “street savvy” it is hard to tell who is actually a friend and who is actually hating on you.  My son had several teammates who were haters.  I tried to explain that everyone wants your spot.  When you are the man, everyone wants to try the man, to beat the man, or to tear down the man.  The higher you go in your profession the more guarded you have to be.  Everyone who is around you has to have your best interest at heart.  Most times they are positioning themselves to be in place, just in case or when you fall.  Understanding they may have you hot boxing to keep you distracted, to get you out of their way.  Providing you opportunities to fail by presenting you things you know you should not be doing.  What I would I tell my son, what I am going to tell my son, is this, it is very hard at times to be comfortable with not fitting in.  We all want to be part of something and feel included, but you will find people out there that don’t care that you are not up on game and are street savvy.  They will like you for being smart, being yourself, being confident, being or engineer or being an NBA player, they will just care about you and not what you have or what you can do for them.  You won’t have to be something you are not and you will be more respected for standing up for yourself the right way and not bending to the will of others.  Love yourself first.  Take care of yourself first.  Do what is right for you first.  Worry about yourself first then worry about others.  There are exceptions to that of course, but God will guide you when those sacrifices are necessary.  Trust God!  Do what is right!  Work hard!   Be the best at it!

 

A Father’s Worry is, will his son reach his potential or will he waste that talent entrusted to him by God?  I pray for my son every day!  So, since I believe in God, I should say, my worry is unfounded because God will make a way.  My wife and I can’t love our son more than God, so we both know he is in good hands.  Reach your dreams son.  We’ll be watching in the owner’s box when you get there.